How Changing 22 Words Upped Sales By 16% [case study]

2024 UPDATE: Read to the end of this case study for a twist! Remember, copywriting and messaging is an iterative and constantly evolving process.

The big takeaway: Don’t underestimate the impact data-driven copywriting can have on revenue. But getting lifts like this requires understanding what your customers really want — following best practices alone isn’t enough.

A Deeper Look: How did changing just a few words boost sales?

When I explained this A/B test to a colleague of mine, he had one word for me:

“Bullshit.”

The guy didn’t think making a few copy updates could generate a 16% increase in paid conversions. It seemed too easy, he said. But it wasn’t easy at all.

Getting this result required testing multiple copy variations that were each based on voice of customer data. It took at least half a dozen inconclusive results to get this win.

Because writing effective copy isn’t really about words — it’s about uncovering the right messages. And that requires loads of customer research.

Previous tests played it safe.

It’s a general best practice to ensure your homepage makes it 100% clear what you’re offering. And we previously tested some ‘safe’ headline variations that followed this rough template:

Business Planning Software that does <insert benefit and/or differentiator here>

Pretty obvious we’re selling business planning software, right? ^

Well, those tests either lost or didn’t reach statistical significance (a tie, essentially). So I took a different approach the next time around.

I dove into my vault of customer research for inspiration, scanning recent online reviews and re-reading notes from past customer interviews. I watched for unique or memorable language folks used to describe the value they got from LivePlan.

As I went through all the voice of customer data, I developed headline hypotheses and documented them here (feel free to steal that worksheet, by the way). Then the data-driven marketing team at LivePlan tested the headline variations.

THE CONTROL:

I was surprised this headline held up as well as it did in previous tests.

The phrase ‘world’s leading’ is a pretty overused these days and gets into marketing white noise territory. Plus, this copy puts a lot of emphasis on the product rather than helping the reader understand how LivePlan will benefit them.

This headline does, however, make it clear what we’re offering: business plan software. Best practice adhered to! 

THE VARIATION:

This headline and subhead were inspired by an online review that snatched by attention:

Liveplan helped us create a near perfect plan to help achieve our funding goals for our company. What we didn't expect was that Liveplan would give us a framework to see clearly our long term goals

We knew that a significant chunk of LivePlan’s visitors wanted to create a business plan that they could use to apply for a bank loan, so it made sense to hit the funding use case in the headline.

But after reading that review, I also wanted to tease out the long-term benefit of using LivePlan that likely wasn’t immediately obvious to visitors.

My hypothesis was that by messaging both an immediate top-of-mind benefit (to get funding) and a longer-term ultimate benefit (grow your business) in the copy we could boost conversions. This touches on what legendary copywriter Bob Bly describes as using ‘levels of benefits’ in your copy.

I also liked how the copy told a quick three-part story about the outcome LivePlan delivers, which helps prospects imagine life using the solution: first you create a business plan, then you get funded and finally you gain insights to help your new company grow.

Now, I knew this headline wasn’t quite as clear as the control: there’s no mention anywhere that LivePlan is software. But I was hoping that other visual clues and context on the homepage would signal to the reader that they were in the right place. 

The Results:

The variation increased paid conversions (signups) from the homepage by 16%. For a high-traffic website, that represented a good chunk of change.

Final thoughts:

There’s nothing wrong with best practices — they’re called that for a reason. But sometimes you need to shatter a few so-called rules to get a copywriting win. When in doubt, examine how happy customers talk about the value your product or service provides. Their insight will almost always lead you in the right direction.

2024 UPDATE: The new 'emotional' champion